Faith Unfiltered: Anonymous Reflections on Faith, Doubt, and Discovery

By: The MSP Writers

^"3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’" (Jeremiah 33:3)

In my faith journey, I’ve found that exploring difficult questions with others brings us closer to understanding. We all walk our own unique paths in our faith, yet the search for answers often leads us to similar places. To build this sense of shared experience, I asked my fellow MSP writers to anonymously answer the following questions. The responses I received were diverse and moving. They each revealed unique perspectives, experiences, and insights.  I hope that their honest and vulnerable answers resonate with you and offer a sense of solidarity in our shared struggles and discoveries. Perhaps within these words, you will find a reflection of your own journey. 

Q: Why do you follow God?

A: God is the one and only constant in my life that I know I can 100% count on to be there for me, to offer support, and to lift me up when I'm feeling down. My favorite song lyrics that really changed my perspective are "You're more than every dream come true, All of the things I thought I wanted, Don't come close to knowing You." Thinking about everything in my life that consumes me, other than God, my phone, comparing myself to others, and school, none of those things even come close to what God has to offer me, and never gives me the happiness that God gives me. God has also given us everything, given us life, mercy, love, and so much more. So, thinking about all this, I want to strive to do my best to repay that and follow God.

A: He’s given me the will to live and wake up every morning. His blessings have transformed my soul quite literally, and it only feels right to try my best to give back to Him every day.

A: I follow God because he accepts and loves me unconditionally. Through good times and bad times, God is there to support me. It is impossible to find that kind of love anywhere else.

A: He created me and has given me so many opportunities and gifts. I have to praise him because he created me.

A: I follow God because I want something I can believe in when I wake up, and rely on throughout the day.

A: I follow God because He gives me meaning in my life and He saved me!!

Q: What are some ways that you build your relationship with Christ?

A: Through my struggles and hardships.

A: By reading the Bible, going to Church, praying, writing (like MSP reflections), and learning from others

A: Going to mass, participating in retreats, daily prayers, and service

A: I build my relationship with God through writing and proclaiming. One of my favorite pastimes is writing, and I try to use it to glorify God. Every time I write an MSP reflection, I gain knowledge about God. Additionally, I think one of the most important ways we can build a relationship with God is by constantly opening ourselves to learning. I do this by learning about the Bible, Saints, prayers, etc.

A:  Having good connections/conversations with people, especially about Him. Going on retreats has also really helped me go back to my daily routine with more meaning

A: I always like to think of my relationship with Christ as a marathon, not a sprint. There have been moments in my life where I didn't even think God was there anymore, and it took me a while to even admit that, let alone come back from that. But just knowing that God is always there when you come back, and all you have to do to build that relationship back up is by showing up. God is never not going to forgive you, so I always think that all I have to do is confess my sins and God will never stop showing me mercy. All I can do is try to take baby steps and, some days, I feel amazing and praise God with everything I have; other days, it's harder to do that. But God is a loving God and will take anything I can give him. So, just taking those baby steps is how I build my relationship. Every day I show up, whether that's Mass, the Rosary, reading Scripture, or anything else, showing up and aiming to grow is the best way to build the relationship up.

Q: Why is openly following God so difficult?

A: It is hard to follow God openly because I fear other people's judgment. When I tell people that I am a Catholic, sometimes I get acceptance, agreement, or I gain a brother or sister in Christ. However, other times, I face a lot of judgment. A lot of people automatically assume that I am not welcoming or accepting of others, which is so difficult, because I don't want to be perceived that way.

A: Not even just openly following God, but following God period, is difficult. He literally calls us in a world so centered on ourselves to look away at others and serve them. We have to pick up a cross and follow Him, thankfully with Him, but no one necessarily wants to do that in a world with so much temporary comfort.

A: Because not everyone else is doing it, and it can be hard to be different from the crowd. It can be scary to think about people judging you for it.

A: Because of the times I find my faith wandering.

A: Sometimes it can be hard with the judgment of others.

A: This is a question that I've constantly pondered in my life. If I love God so much, why is it so hard? When my relationship with God was at its lowest point, I understood why it was hard for me, but why is it hard now when I've made all this progress? That's a question that I still struggle to answer. It's easy to do in the silence of my own heart and at youth group, but when it comes down to it, I struggle to open up about my faith in places like school. I think it's mainly about worrying about judgment because the connotation around following God has become worse and worse, and I have no idea why. I think it's because we get consumed with so many other things in our lives and put God on the back burner, so many people, including me at times, forget at times that God should be the most important priority in our lives. This doesn't mean it is for everyone, but I think that for me personally, I need to have a more open heart and focus more on God, not the environment around me.

Q: What is your advice for Christians trying to overcome sin?

A: Remember to follow what your heart tells you and always know that God will be there for you through it all.

A: Sometimes it's best to just take a step back and re-examine yourself. When you do this, it is easier to find where you are distancing yourself from God.

A: Like I said earlier, God is a merciful God. When you come to God and give him all your sins, he isn't going to shy away from your sins and judge you. He's going to love you even more for showing up and being honest. Confession in my faith life has been my saving grace. I am so grateful every day that I get to go to Confession. I used to hate Confession, I used to get so so nervous when going. But when I stopped thinking about being ashamed of my sins or the priest being ashamed of my sins and started thinking about it as having a conversation with God, the priest being the vessel, it became so much more freeing. When going to a Steubenville Conference, one speaker told us to think of our faith journey as a long path. There were many components to this path, but what stood out to me was how he described sin. He said that the seeds we plant in our faith life struggle to grow when we have deeply rooted rocks in our path, our sin. All of us have our deeply rooted rocks, and sometimes it takes a long time to overcome those. But God wants you to overcome sin, not to be ashamed of it. Praying through your sin and consistently showing up to Confession helps so much, and even just taking baby steps into that also helps to build up that discipline. God wants to help you, so starting by just asking for help and guidance is an amazing start.

A: Acknowledge it first. It is so difficult to overcome sin when you keep on excusing it. Sometimes I catch myself saying, "Well, it is okay that I spent my whole afternoon on my phone, because I was busy all day." Instead, acknowledge that it was wrong to spend your day on your phone instead of with God. Then, ask for forgiveness in prayer or confession if you are Catholic. Lastly, try to stop or replace your sin. For example, instead of using your phone to scroll on social media, use a Bible or prayer app.

A: Don’t let it hold you back from talking to God or continuing in your faith journey. No sin will disqualify you from God loving you

A: To realize that you are not unforgivable or hopeless. That God’s love for you is so much more than His hatred for sin. And also that a life following Christ is so much more meaningful than a life in sin.

Q: If Jesus were right in front of you, would you change the way you live your life? If so, why? What is holding you back from living a faithful life right now?

A: If Jesus were standing right in front of me, I would change the bad habits I have. I need to be more respectful to my loved ones and not take life for granted. I'm not sure what's holding me back

A: I would probably change some things, yes. I think things that are holding me back are distractions and getting into the mindset that I don’t need God, when in reality I really really do.

A: I think yes, in some ways I would change my life. I think there's always some way that I can come closer to Jesus and build my relationship with him. I recently had a very close moment with Jesus and had a moment where I realized how much I've been holding back from him, and that I need to make a big change in my life. I think what has been holding me back is not thinking I am good enough for Jesus. Just admitting that alone has helped me so much, and going to Confession has helped as well. I've realized that Jesus loves us in the way that we come to him in, and he will love us continually even if we struggle to change the way we live our lives.

A: Jesus would serve as a reminder to follow my moral compass and practice what I preach. I think the temptation of the real world is what stops me from finding that light.

A: I think what’s hardest is saying no to many of the secular habits offered in front of us, always. When starting to follow Christ later in your life, you have to let go of those things. Also, just following God in general, you have to trust that when you leave your sufferings with Him, He will help you and not just leave you.

A: I think if Jesus were right in front of me, I would spend more time in prayer. I think prayer is an important way to communicate with God, and I think a lot of times, I put it on the back burner. I think what is holding me back from living a faithful life right now is the fear of failure as well as my all-or-nothing mindset. I constantly think that to be a good Christian, I have to be completely and utterly perfect, and when I am not, it is hard to make my spiritual life a priority. I know it isn't true, but it is hard to get rid of that mindset.