Valuing Differences in Friendships: The Church as One Body

By: Poppy Varley

"4 For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members one of another. 6 We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; 7 ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; 8 the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness. 9 Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; 10 love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor“ (Romans 12: 4-10).

Throughout your life, you’ve probably had a number of different friends that have come and gone, and some that have stayed loyally by your side for a long time. Or, you might have been someone who has gone through life often feeling alone, never having an outgoing and large friend group like so many others seemed to have. Either way, whether you realize it or not, there is someone who has stayed consistently throughout your life, always reaching out to be your friend: God. And He wants to lead you to a group of friends that will love and support you forever. In this passage, St. Paul strongly urges us to realize the true blessings and community that is surrounding us through God.

Friendship is a funny thing, right? Sometimes, people come into your life in ways that you would never expect. Your personalities may differ completely, but there is some intangible force that draws you together, creating a bond that is tougher than anything. It is exactly this bond that St. Paul is touching on within his speech. It isn’t our similarities that bring us together to serve and spread God’s love, it’s actually the opposite. In order to truly and fully live our mission as Christians to the fullest, we have to accept our differences. The very traits that allow us to be divided and split apart, also allow us to have new and creative perspectives, understandings, and opinions that fuel us forward within the Church. 

Often in my life, I used to find myself saying, “I couldn’t be friends with her, we’re so different!” or, “ I’ve never even talked to her, how could we have anything in common?” But this distanced and closed-off mindset is not one that God wants us to carry. These very girls whom I never thought I would be friends with, are now some of my closest and most supportive friends, ones who know all about me and bring out the best within me. They taught me things about life and myself that I hadn’t known, and am forever grateful for their place in my life. By branching out and opening myself to everyone, I was able to grow as a person. This is the type of loving community that God wishes for everyone to foster in their lives. It’s important to think of community as something with many moving parts. For example, you might have a skill for public speaking, or commanding a room, while your friend might be an amazing organizer and planner. While blessed with opposite traits, both people possess gifts that are crucial to getting everything done well. 

As St. Paul says in this passage, “Hold fast to what is good”. (Romans 12: 9) As you go about your day today, I urge you: Do not let your differences tear you apart, instead, take them and use them to grow. Build up yourself, your friends, your community, your world, build it as much as you can! Hold on to your friendships, value the wisdom and godly presence that you can find within them. Never forget that we are one body in Christ, and must work to act as one, relying on our different skills and strengths to spread His light wherever we go.